Thursday, September 01, 2011

What NOT to say to a person with cancer...


In the spirit if Lymphoma Awareness month....

What NOT to say to a person with cancer:

1. Never tell a person with cancer about a relative, or loved one who died of cancer.

2. Never offer (alternative) treatment options, when you know I'm already on treatment. It just confuses things, and my mind is already overflowing with managing my new life with C.

3. When you learn I have Hodgkin's, vs. Non-Hodkin's Lymphoma, don't say "oh, you got the 'good' cancer.' Having cancer is never good.

4. Never say "At least they caught it early." Actually, I was MIS-diagnosed over a year ago, when I was having the very symptoms I got diagnosed with. this means cancer has been in my body, a year and a half before i even got the accurate diagnosis.

5. "I know how you feel." No, you don't. Not unless you've had or currently have cancer.

Here's what you CAN say to a person with cancer:

1. Stories of hope. I have no problem hearing about your friends and family who have had lymphoma, beat it, and are doing great now. That’s helpful.

2. Real, honest, specific offers for help.

3. Sympathy, not pity.

4. Encouragement

5. I love you. This can never be said enough. :)

6 comments:

Sage said...

I LOVE YOU!

Ocean Morisset said...

Thank you, my brother! :)

pimp1957 said...

You KNOW I Love ya, Ocean my brother!!
You just don't know how MUCH!
(Smile) & (((((Hugs))))
~Doc

aubry said...

Interesting that you say not to talk about a loved one who has died of cancer. My 16 year old friend, i'm 20, was diagnosed with stage 4 hodgkins a week ago and she knows both my grandparents passed away from cancer and we've talked about it and it doesn't bother her. My Gramma had ovarian cancer for 8 years in and out of remission and she was almost 70 and not healthy to begin with so we mostly just discuss the knowledge i gained during her treatments etc. I think if i thought it would bring her down I wouldn't discuss it with her, but she isnt' bothered by it. She seems more inspired because they fought with everything in them and they were "old" haha not really but to her they are. Do you think it depends on the person whether to talk or not about it?

Ocean Morisset said...

@ Aubry, yes, i think it depends on the person yo speak with. Your sixteen year old girlfriend is a rare breed in that she can process death while dealing with her own cancer. Many people with cancer, including myself, don't wish to hear it. The post was in reference mostly to me though. Kudos to her for being brave and much luck in her fight!

Ocean Morisset said...

@ Doc, thanks for always being a brother!! :D